Haj

Are you going to Uman, this Rosh Hashana, to pray at the grave of the sainted Rav Nachman? Rumors (started by the Uman Tourist Board) promise absolute forgiveness to anyone with payis who prays at the grave. Though the trip might cost as much as $4000, this is actually a very good deal. Along with the absolute forgivenss, you get meals, rooms, and the inspiring company of 15,000 men (no towels, though, or mints on your pillow) And, sure, begging forgivness from the people you have wronged, and commiting to changing your ways is also a path to absolute forgivness, but why go to all that bother when you can get the same result in Uman, while also escaping your wife and kids for the holidays?

Update: Apparently some women are actively encouraging their husbands to abidicate their familial responsibilites for the sake of the pilgramage. The reason for this is simple: nashim da'atot kalim.

Trailer for Paul Mazurksy's documentary on Rosh Hashanah in the Ukraine
Another video clip from Uman
One more for fun and good luck <-Absolute forgivness promised to all who click this link.