Things I'd like to do in the next five minutes

1) Transfer all my comments to disqus, and switch over to that system entirely (Do it for me, and I'll provide you with a lifetime supply of DovBear dollars, plus a key to the executive J-blogger restroom.)

2) Write a post about the development of the idea that Rueven lost the rights of the firstborn.
(Summary: It's an interesting story, that parallels David's sin with Bathsheba, and can be traced through the Apocrypha. What I'd like to discuss: Did the story orginally develop to address certain textual anomalies, or to explain why the Rubenites were, for the most part, gone by the beginning of bayis rishon?)

3) Write a post about Vashti's tail in particular and Midrashim in general using the the word "atavism".

4) Tear someone a new one, in the way Jonathan Chait tears Roger Simon a new one here.