Media Bias

Media bias is a tricky thing, but when it comes to reporting about Haredi rioters, things can get even stickier. To help Jew haters in the media stay out of trouble, I've prepared a few illustrative examples:

Biased sentence: Haredim protest in Jerusalem and cause massive property damage
Unbiased sentence: A handful of people who may have been Haredim but also could have been hilonim dressed as Haredim for the purpose of making God's favorite people look bad were marching peacefully in the street for very good Torah True reasons when by mistake some people accidently caused some damage to a few things that were already broken and ready to be thrown out.

Biased sentence: Haredim throw diapers at police.
Unbiased sentence: A fine Haredi mother of 10 children who would never dream of divorcing her masmid husband was attempting to heave a diaper into a trash can from a distance of 25 yards, when an evil, provocative, Jew-hating Jewish police man purposely got his head in the way.

Biased sentence: A crowd of angry Jews burned garbage in Tel Aviv.
Unbiased sentence: A handful of fine, wonderful Jews who learn Torah 24/7 and come from families where drugs and divorce are unknown, were a little angry for very good reasons and unintentionally responded to evil police provocations by accidentally by mistake being in the vicinity when some unknown parties set some garbage on fire.

Biased sentence: Jewish protesters threw rocks at cars to protect shabbos desecration
Unbiased sentence: A slightly disturbed young person demonstrated his wonderful and inspiring love for shabbos by unintentionally nudging a small pebble in the general direction of a car windshield which inexplicably broke.