Understanding Orthopraxy

A guest post by TikunOlam

I was reading through some of the comments on one of the most recent DB posts and this one got me thinking:

Zealot: DovBear, do you ever think about simply abandoning Orthodox Judaism? By now, I doubt you still believe in absolute truth. Why do you support these organizations if they do not represent your values? Conservative and Reform Judaism seem more appropriate.

DovBear: Where did this come from? And thank god you don't get to decide when I daven or how I live my life.

(Me: note to DB: not that you are saying that there is anything wrong with choosing to leave OJ and finding a fulfilling life in CJ or RJ of course. . .)

Zealot: It is an honest question to which you have never supplied an honest answer. There is nothing on your blog to indicate why a person should be part of an orthodox community. And your positions are consistently to the left of the most extreme left orthodox position. So why not drop the farce?

(Please note: the following is not an attempt at an answer on DB's behalf or in any way meant to label DB as Orthoprax versus OJ. It is simply some thoughts of mine that I felt like sharing regarding Orthopraxy in general.)

It is always interesting to me when people ask others why they stay a part of the OJ community when it seems that they don't share some or even many of the fundamental beliefs or values of the community. I am actually not at all perplexed as to why people stay. (For those who don't know me, I a person who left OJ due do agnosticism turned atheism and settled for membership in a CJ community).

The reasons for staying within the OJ community are varied, mostly legitimate and often even admirable. Just because one challenges the community or even the values or dogma of the community to which they belong, does not mean it is easy, necessary or even preferable to leave it.

Here are a few of the reasons that I understand for Orthopraxy:

1. Shalom Bayit (in my opinion, the most admirable reason of them all). Changing an entire lifestyle is hard enough when you are young, single, childless and mobile. Many of today's Orthoprax were truly OJ in terms of belief and practice on their wedding days and when they made joint decisions with their spouses as to how they would lead their lives together as a couple and as a family. Living an OJ lifestyle when one no longer is convinced of its "truth," or even value, is a compromise. But is a very mature and admirable one if the compromise is for the purpose of preserving a marriage and an intact family for ones children.

2. The OJ community is a values based one. It is a community of high moral and ethical standards. It supports strong families, honestly, charity and compassion. The lifestyle it offers protects individuals, in a higher proportions than most other available communities, from becoming involved in criminal activities, drug and alcohol addiction, infidelity and divorce. Leaving OJ also necessarily means going on a quest for an alternative, equal or superior way to lead your life and raise your children. This isn't easy for many, especially when you have already spent your entire life as a part of a community, that for the most part, already works for you.

3. Tradition, ritual and a sense of meaning and purpose. People lead emotionally and physically healthier lives when they believe that they are a part of something larger than themselves. People do not have to believe in all of the positions of their community to continue to derive a sense of meaning and purpose from being a member of it and upholding its traditions and rituals.

I am an outsider looking in, hypothesizing as to why Orthopraxy works for so many. Other ideas?