Oldie/Goodie

Clyde Haberman
The New York Times

Dear Mr. Haberman:

I am writing to heap fiery condemnations on your column of May 6, 2005, a column which both glorified and celebrated the godless Yom Hashoah commemorations held last week on the Upper West Side.

Let's get something straight, Mr. Haberman: Yom Hashoa is not a Torah True observance. It was invented by secular Zionists who frequently engaged in filthy activities such as farming. Farming! Have you ever heard of a Torah True farmer? Of course not!

To make matters worse, those secular Zionist farmers scheduled their man-made Yom Hashoa observance during Nissan, the happiest month of the year. In Nissan, it is simply not appropriate to remember the dead. In Nissan, our motto is "who cares about the dead?" In fact, we don't even deliver eulogies in Nissan! True, we do say Yizkor on the last day of Pesach, but that prayer is said for Jews we care about, and not for a bunch of strangers.

Nissan, the happiest month of the year, is the month when Torah True Jews begin mourning the 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva. But, for reasons we've never been told, that display of mourning during Nissan is perfectly okay. Nissan is also when we begin remembering the Crusades, another event in Jewish history far more important than the holocaust, which is quite adequately remembered on Tisha B'Av with a Kina or two.

The real outrage, you see, is that those secular nobodies and their modern orthodox friends want to dedicate one whole entire day to the 6 million when the 24,000 holy students of Rabbi Akiva are remembered for merely 33 days.

In conclusion, I look forward to reading a retraction in your next column in which I expect you to explain why it would better for everyone if the 6 million were remembered on Tisha B'av together with all those other dead Jews who didn't have a teacher named Rabbi Akiva.

With Torah, Nevim and Ketuvim blessings, I am

Yitzhak Eyezik
Torah True Jew