Morons here, morons there...

...I see morons everywhere.

Yesterday, I introduced a new acronym, BHM (black-hat-moron) to the DovBear lexicon (joining GOPJew and KefiyaTalis as phrases invented here.)

But what exactly is a BHM? See below (and for the sake of comparison and fairness, I've also defined MOM (modern-orthodox-moron))

	BHM	MOM
Michaper Kol Averot (forgives all sins)	His hat	His Zionism
At kiddush, will knock you over to get:	Kugel (burnt and greasy, please)	Sushi
Cause of all suffering in the universe:	Short hemlines / The New York Times	Muslim Arabs / The New York Times
Nightmare of nightmares	An unmarried 19-year old daughter	A meshulach at the door
Dream of dreams	A 5000 sq foot house, with a Lexus sedan in the drive and jealous neighbors next door	A 5000 sq foot house, with a Lexus SUV in the drive and jealous neighbors next door
Sin that's not really a sin	Tax fraud, bigotry, cheating at business.	Mixed swimming, fish at non-kosher resteraunts.
Favorite mitzvah	Sitting in a bes medrash, drinking coffee, and "learning"	Voting Republican
How he makes decisions:	Decisions? Huh? I just ask my Rav.	Is is good for Israel?
How he learns chumash:	Rashi is always right! (Unless the Little Midrash Says disagrees, in which case teku.)	Scours texts to develop apocalyptic scenarios involving crystals and space aliens, all having zero basis in legitimate commentary
How he learns gemarah:	Chazal are always right! (Only modernishke herr doktor scholars look at Rishonim)	Gema-what?
Favorite holiday:	Lag B'omer	Yom Ha'atzmaut
Ditches his wife, family and all household responsibilities to:	Sit in a bes medrash, drink coffee, and "learn"	Play poker and/or attend sporting events
Has a child named after:	Fauna (ie: Dov, Tzvi, Ze'ev)	Flora (ie: Ilan, Tomar, Daphne)
Favorite blog:	Yeshiva World	DovBear