Some new Ani Maamins for these trying and spiritualy deficient times

[From here] [Also posted here]
(I didn't get it from GH, though)

Attention Jews who piously repeat 13 Ani Maamins each day. You are koferim. Heretics. Deficient in belief. Spiritual Pygmies.

Perhaps 13 fundamentals were enough for our ancestors, but we live in more challenging times. Therefore, following the excellent advice acquired here, I firmly suggest that you add the following proclamations to your daily devotions:

- I firmly believe the world in exactly 5767 years old. [*] [1]

- I firmly believe that the sun, moon and planets revolve around the earth. [1]

- I firmly believe that the Mediterranean Sea is the largest body of water (hence it's name "yam hagadol").

- I firmly believe that Eretz Yisroel is higher than all other lands, including Mount Everest [1]

- I firmly believe that there are six planets

- I firmly believe that there are 4 elements [1]

- I firmly believe that lice do not come from eggs [1]

- I firmly believe that the moon generates its own light, and does not merely reflect the sun.

- I firmly believe that there was a flood that covered the entire earth.
up.

- I firmly believe that no animal species will ever go extinct.

Laughing? Stop. These are genuine Haredi beliefs.

[*] Any Rishon who suggested otherwise was a kofer.
[1] I know actual people who believe this.