Bas Mitzva Panic

My oldest daughter recently turned eleven and suddenly all anyone seems to want to talk about is her bas-mitzva.

Of course no one wants to talk about the important things like what it actually MEANS to be of Jewish legal age. Will she be taking on more chessed activities? More learning? How do I think she will fast on her first Yom Kippur? No no, they want to know what I'm "DOING" for her bas-mitzva by which they mean what kind of lavish gala will we be hosting to commemorate this blessed event.

Well, I DON'T KNOW, OK?!!

I'll tell you what there's not going to be though:

1) Monkeys on rollerskates
2) A Celebrity Guestlist
3) An Open Bar
4) A my side of the family VS your side of the family blow out
5) An accumulation of debt that would prevent me from sending my freshly minted "adult" child to attend yeshiva HS.

People keep telling me "what is expected" - a weekend of meals for family and friends, a big kiddush in shul, and some kind of party the following Sunday with live music and dancing and that's considered the basics.

I need to figure out how to do this quickly without breaking the bank, or ending up in emergency room and I think the first step is to stop caring about what other people think.