I rather doubt Shifra's neighbor reads DovBear....

... still she asked me to post this:

Dear Jewish Neighbor,

I know you are a righteous Jew who values pnemius over chitzonious but it�s about time you mowed your lawn.

I realize of course that you keep shabbos, leaving you a mere six days a week left to take care of your landscaping, but surely you can squeeze it in somewhere. While dandelions are one of Hashem�s beautiful creations, your weed problem is quickly becoming MY weed problem. More to the point, it's a chillul hashem to see your sorry, hemish, lawn standing out as the very worst on the block with no sign of improvement in sight. While you are at it, you might want to trim those hedges sticking three feet out into the sidewalk, as my husband nearly lost as eye biking past your house the other day.

While I'm on the subject, your children's strollers, tricycles, jump ropes and roller skates have moved from being an eyesore on your porch twelve months a year to being a bor berush ha'rabim in the middle of the sidewalk! I'd hate to see that sweet, active little old lady down the street end up in a nursing home eating tapioca and watching Wheel of Fortune day and night because of your laziness.

Please clean up your yard promptly or I will stop watching and feeding your children on Shabbos afternoon while you nap and instead send MY children over to your house instead where I only hope they don't get a rash from what looks to be poison ivy over by your dilapidated fence.

Thank you,

Your Jewish Neighbor

Upon review it's occured to me that we all, probably, have Jewish neighbors who might benefit from a letter like this. I know I do. So feel free to clip and paste!