DovBear: Psychic Medium

How would everyone's favorite apostate respond to this post?

You're in luck.

I happen to be a medium, and with the proper application of mystical charms, I can channel the spirit of Mis-Nagid through my frail and putrid body. Allow me to consult the crystal ball, wave the diving rod and burn the magic spices.

Wait... wait... stomach gurgling... ears smoking... toes curling... wait... wait... it's coming... it's coming:

Fools! They don't teach Torah in Hebrew because if they did that, the kids would be able to spot the textual maculations, and they would know what only I have discovered, after years of agnonizing personal research: THE TORAH IS FALSE! HAHAH!HAHA!HA!HAH!HA!HA!HAH!!!HAHAA

cough.. ahem.... as you were.