Oops. Kupat Ha'ir's latest Facebook ad caught the attention of some non-Jews who can't quite understand why poor people are fundraising for a wedding. They are asking what seem like solid questions: Can't you just go to the court house? Or live together? Why are you aspiring to a wedding you can't afford?
Truth is you can make a perfectly fine Jewish wedding for very little, but the issue is this: If you and I aren't going to pinch pennies when it comes to making a wedding, it is wrong to tell the orphans to do it. And this refusal to let others be embarrassed (along with the whole pre-marital sex thing) is what the non-Jews are missing when they question the idea of hachnachas kalla.
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